The View From Mt Aukum

Storing Up The News

2006-04-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

Like any good neighborhood anchor, the Mt Aukum Store offers the community a bulletin board. It is self-edited; the spell check broke in 1957; grammar is an old lady who lives up the draw; nobody asks to see your license and if you don't have a local number, don't bother. It is a great place for news if you know how to read it.

I have often thought of putting together a collection of ads for publication. However, the cold Buds in the cooler inside usually called more insistently but the day I spotted this ad on the envelope I simply had to grab my camera.

Click on the envelope for a larger view.

Poem by Susan Collins

2006-04-11T17:30:00.000-07:00

MT AUKUM

A wide spot on Highway 16
Gold Country a miners dream
A mountain with a microwave

Blue shapeless digger pine lean
Handsome spreading Live Oak
Creeks named Spanish and Flat

Five gate road, cattle guards
Passing fences, gates, pot holes
Rough and dusty Painted Pony Road

A general store for all your needs
Folks gather round the wood stove
Cold winter mornings and gossip

Buy your spring chicks and feed
Cold beer, canned soup and lanterns
Throw a scrap to Bullet the town's pig

Large herds of Mule deer
Huge ears twitching flies
Feeling smug about hunters

Cattle by the dozen roam and calve
Cowboys ply their trade each year
I sit on fence top and watch

A roadside tavern door ajar
Lazy dogs lie on the step
Laughter rolls on the breeze

Come on in and have a drink
Meet neighbors and friends
Exchange a joke or play dice

Learn the market price of beef
Glean a bag of sweet corn
Ione melon or red ripe tomatoes

Stop at the tire shop, say Hello
Pass the time with Glenn and wife
Talk over the world news

Dogs ride in my open truck bed
We stop for mail and a cookie for them
We hear spring chicks in the back room

D'Agostini pond lies so still today
Structure rises casting shadows
Noisy ducks swim aimlessly

Pause the rusty 62 Chevy Pickup
Patiently wait for three dozen geese
They finally settle on a direction of travel

Go to town and buy a ton of hay
Granny takes us up the hills
Push it off at home enjoy a cold beer

Indian grinding rocks abound
Catching rain or making hidey places
For the small creatures and fallen acorns

Go to the mechanic shop in Aukum
Hang out and drink beer with the guys
View the Mt. Lion Dennis got today

Pick from the garden so robust
Fences cannot contain it
Corn, squash, cukes and more

Curry the horse while he talks
Hug his big head and rub his neck
Saddle him up and ride him around

Surprise in the morning with new lambs
Jumping, running, falling down
Elastrate tails and testicles then warm milk

Baby goats whirl, jump and climb
Stopping for some milk
Little voices calling out so loud

New puppies arrive noisily
A new addition in the kitchen
A tired bitch surveys them and rests

Loading animals for market
Hitching up the bib overalls
Pulling on the tall "Pig Boots"

Sitting on the bleachers
Watching the auction eating a hot dog
Hoping my animals go quickly

Teaching the Llama to Kush
He and I "hum" a conversation
Stripping his thick heavy hair

Stop to see the pot bellied pig
Let him out to roam the yard
Scratch his belly for a piggy smile

Grandkids risking life and limb
Swinging on the old tire swing
Crawling through the culverts

Wild flowers in great profusion
Wild turkeys strut across the yard
Bobcat steals a hen and runs

The memories abound, too many to note
Fifteen years in this spot God let me use
It was a dream come true and more

My life's ambition to live this way
In the beauty of the woods
The seclusion from the bustling city

It was back breaking work
It was worth every ache and pain
It was worth every tear and tragedy

I shall never forget Mt. Aukum
Just a wide spot in the highway
Nothing of note there
Just a small dusty place

--SUZANNE COLLINS-CUSICK
_______________________

Suzanne has been my friend since I met her and her man in the River Pines bar the night I was celebrating receiving the first issue of my newspaper, The Mountain Trader, from the printer. That was 20 years ago and something got kindled that evening while the entire crew at the bar loudly helped my partner and I celebrate the launching of our new adventure. My partner long ago moved on, the paper only lasted two years before becoming a magazine and the bar and most of the people are gone. Yet something still burns. Friendship is like that. I am proud to call Suzanne my friend. I am proud to provide her space in my blog for her remembrance of Mt Aukum. It IS called The View From Mt Aukum. If you like her poem leave a message in the comment section and I will make sure she hears from you. --Ben L. Hiatt

Come Back Little Squirrel!

2006-03-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

Spring one day! Winter the next. That picture on the left captures this morning's view out my window. Gone are the spring loving, dancing squirrels that came by last week to delight and entertain.

I live in a place that has seen snow about three times in the past ten years and then usually only a skiff. Just enough to be entertaining, but weather possessing the good manners to quickly disappear after all and sundry have had the opportunity to "Ooo" and "Awe-e-e-e" and then be done with it.

If I wanted to live in this kind of insanity I would move back to Eastern Oregon where I grew up. I HATE snow. I live in CALIFORNIA. I should NOT have to put up with this kind of crap. It is the middle of March, for Crissakes. I've had about all this goddamn Global Warming that I can stand.

To top it all off that goof-ball Elmer Thudpucker came by this morning with a new report he'd received in the mail that supposedly proves this weather was caused by Bush-Cheney. He has some new theory he’s kicking around that this late spring snow is designed to keep the price of heating oil and gas and propane up high for their oil baron buddies. I expect Thudpucker’s not the only moonbat out there that will buy into it.

In case you just wandered in here and missed the diddling squirrels post just scroll down a couple or three posts.

Name Of The Game

2006-03-05T18:45:00.000-08:00

DEALER’S CHOICE

Naming the game
we chose
numbers
& we imagine
the rules

The dealer
has a hooded eye
& never learned
to smile

These cards fall
with the hiss
of a sword

In the current hand,
3’s and 10’s
are wild,
the Aces are discarded
& The Joker
is only good
for a seat
in the final game.

Ante Up!

-30-

Speaking Fur To Power

2006-03-05T10:10:00.000-08:00

Watch your back trail folks, that goddamn Elmer Thudpucker is out of his winter compound and on the hunt........

--BLH

Squirrels United Against Church And State

2006-03-05T09:14:00.000-08:00

I sent that squirrely photograph by to the last meeting of the Gobs of Amarado and suggested that it ought to be considered for the trophy wall. I couldn't go so I just got a second hand report of what came down but this is what I heard happened. It seems that a couple of the guys didn't think that squirrel's whanger was actually no big deal. (Click on the squirrel for a closer look). They didn't seem to think it qualified as big enough to make the trophy wall, but then they didn't realize that he'd just done what he'd been doing for more than five minutes when that picture was took and he was kinda pooped. Every body jawed it up for awhile and they were getting nowhere until finally Cecil Thudwhacker got a belly full and stood up and said, "Unless one of you suckers can drop your drawers right now and show us a bigger one then I guess maybe you ought to shut to heck up so we can get on to some serious business, like tapping that Bud keg over there behind the bar." There being no one present who was willing to measure up against the squirrel, an immediate vote was called for and old Brer Squirrel with the monstrous big whanger now holds down a place of honor on the trophy wall of the Good Ol' Boys Of Amarado Clubhouse on the lower forty of the Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies compound which is located up the creek, across the draw and just a ways down the ridge from the last cattle guard, right close to the Forest Service line.

Peta Trained Coon Dawg

Once they got that squirrel stuff out of the way Cecil introduced them to his new PETA approved Huntin' Dawg which he'd won in a poker game down to stockton after the water races a couple of weeks ago. Damn dog is amby-dexterious and can hunt squirrels as well as coons. Cecil says that weird dog just loves to hunt though we ain't took him out for a try on our local he-coons yet. I ain't sure how this is gonna work out up here in the hills. This hound was trained in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco and we aren't sure whether or not these mountain boy coons will nail a flatlander boy dog like those ones they used for training did in S.F. But our guys are broad minded enough to give it a try. If it works for the coon, fine. If not, then Cecil says he can always take that damn fruity dog back to Stockton and lose him back to some flatlander in another poker game after the next dog races.

2006-01-06T12:19:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, he survived.

August in a year I missed

2005-08-21T08:46:00.000-07:00

I been down so long,
I quit looking up.

I've come easing back
from somewhere along the back trail.

Loose movement near the digger pine.

A rustle at sunset.

Something felt in the 3 a.m. darkness.
Not dead yet.

Close.
But not quite.

I'll be here a bit longer.

WISE CHILD

2004-12-11T05:19:00.000-08:00

It always seemed
I turned my head
And
There you were

A quick and lonely child
Born to a house
Gone bad

Wise child
You must have
Learned early on
To disappear
In plain sight
Because memory
Comes up blank
For almost all those
Early years

You must have been there
But I can't bring you back

I remember screaming drunks
And knockdown fights
A suitcase on the morning steps
Said Dad was gone again

I can look back into
All of that,
Hear the words
And feel the fear

But I cannot see
A child
Who must have
Slipped away
And hid
Because the only
Safe place
Was out of sight
__________
--Ben L. Hiatt

STANDING EASY

2004-12-08T06:11:00.000-08:00

How we handle
Gravity

Marks our success
Or shows the way we fail

Sometimes I stand
Inside my bones
Just to see
If they recall
The way it's done

Since careful
Seldom brings along
A share of grace
I find that
Dance has slipped away

I've noticed that when
Brittle wants to break
Movement
Can become
A thing
The bones will fear

Imagine that:
Afraid to dance.
I think I miss that
Most of all.

Ben L. Hiatt
12-08-2004

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2004-12-04T13:51:00.000-08:00

A SLOW WAY TO DIE
For Phil Weidman

When things move
They change

If a man
Just
Sits down
And stays
In one place

He might meet
Himself

Perhaps,
For the first time.

If he stays there
Long enough
He will exhaust
His memories

Much later
New, strange memories
Will emerge
From the shattered bones
Of the old

At first
He will not recognize them
As his own
Think that, perhaps,
They were left behind
By another

Who stayed awhile
Then moved on
With a lighter load
And took
The words with him

--Ben L. Hiatt,
November 10, 2004

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Time to pick up the marbles.

2004-11-13T06:49:00.000-08:00

The View From Mt Aukum

Back In Business

2004-08-21T06:57:00.000-07:00

Just a few words to announce there is still some life in these parts.
--BLH

Mt Aukum Press
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WHY READ POETRY?

2004-04-29T11:42:00.000-07:00

I was poking around in a bag of old publications yesterday. Looking for something else when a copy of the very first issue of the old MT AUKUM REVIEW from 1985 came to hand. I set it aside and took it up with my first cup of coffee about 4:30 this morning.

It is a sveldt little number, 4 by 7 inch page size and a mere 28 pages folded and stapled. But I see I went to the trouble of printing a two color cover on the old table model AB DICK press I was running at the time and the entire package is a lot cleaner than a lot of things I threw together over the years. I think that it may very well be the single best publication that I ever put together in my 40 years of doing this thing.

Here is a link to a pdf file I created to share the centerfold with you.

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Jim Chandler's New Blog

2004-04-24T15:53:00.000-07:00

Jim Chandler has a new poetry blog up and running. He's calling it Underground Poets. check it out.

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2004-04-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

I took a month off here while I recovered from an illness. Decided to come back with some poetry and give politics a rest for a bit. Here are a couple of older poems from my book FAMILY ALBUM, originally published in 1980 and currently available as a reprint from Mt. Aukum Press.

XMAS DAY, plus one, 1979

not much under the tree
a poet's pay is small
the oldest son, saddened
walked away his misery
in the face of friends
who received much larger gifts

one's dad gave a pick up
a motorcycle for another
and a third, a new waterbed

the poet's son received
a watch, a razor, new socks
from the grandparents

but somewhere in that long day
he found the time to call
& wish a Merry Christmas
to an old lady
who lives alone
occasionally hires
him to work her garden

she called today
& shared that gift
with me

"I didn't think the young
folks cared." She said.
"That boy of yours is different."

although our lack saddens him
he walks it off
in the Christmas sun & finds the time
to share something
far more real & important

& he makes his father proud.
September 16, 1969--3 a.m.

I stepped outside
just now, curious
seeking source
for nocturnal sounds

& realize
by the cold wind
that we've weathered
another summer

fall, again
this time with
a first child
in school

I view his wide eyed
stride
toward
uncertain
knowledge
with
a sadness
he cannot yet understand

something more
than just
another summer

is
gone.

Buy the book.

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Kerry~War Hero

2004-03-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

Since the president has "rope-a-doped" the Democrats into forcing him to release his military records, now would be a good time to start asking Kerry to release his military records. Don't you think?

The MOTHER of All Conspiracy Theories

2004-03-04T05:37:00.000-08:00

How 'bout this one:

Kerry picks Hillary for V.P.
'long 'bout August the press discovers(?) some real bad things about Kerry and bring him down, leaving Hillary standing as the candidate way late in the cycle. She is a powerful candidate who was not been damaged at all by the Primary.

This could be real tuff.

How many"Conservative" wimmin voters are gonna pass up the chance to vote for the first woman president?

Every Body MUST Get Married

2004-02-24T10:04:00.000-08:00

In GOBs of Amarado land you can get a Universal Marriage License. Try it you'll like it.

The Terms and Conditions on the back of the card read as follows:

TERMS and CONDITIONS~Fees Negotiable~Payable in Cash.

"This license permits the holder to establish a marriage lasting at least one hour to anyone or anything at any time. This includes the right to intermingle property, children and body fluids. Plus the right to procreate where possible. Should the license holder choose just to practice procreation it also includes the right to one free abortion per marriage. In cases of "Instant Marriage" to an unlicensed living person, a one beer waiting period is imposed (two if beer of choice is a "lite" beer or person is of same sex). Divorce may be imposed by saying so. In case where object of divorce is a language-less sentient being, an animal or an inanimate object, license holder may stamp left foot three times and spit on the ground to end the current marriage. Those unable to perform these two tasks simultaneously will have their license rescinded immediately and must remain married to current partner."

THE ECONOMY

2004-02-10T06:07:00.000-08:00

if the Economy is so bad, perhaps someone can explain why there appears to have been more than $50 million in disposable income available to waste on a candidate that could not win a single primary in his own party.

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Democrat War Hero (?)

2004-02-06T12:52:00.000-08:00

These Viet Nam Vets have some things to show you about John Kerry.
Viet Vets Against John Kerry. Take a look and think about what passes for a War Hero(?) among the Democrats.
_____________________________________________________________

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_____________________________________________________________

_____________________________________________________________
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MTV BLOWS IT

2004-02-02T11:19:00.000-08:00

I missed the moment of exposure during Super Bowl half time yesterday. Soon as I realized it was something from MTV I hit the "mute" button and headed outside for a smoke. Guess they tried to turn it into Super Bow(e)l. I saw the photos of the offending mammary on Drudge this morning. With that classy little nipple cover in place before hand, we're supposed to believe it was an accident? Yeah, sure.

Those poor dunder-heads at MTV couldn't keep it together for a ten minute stretch. They finally made it to the big show and they just couldn't keep it under cover for ten minutes. They just had to rub folks' noses in it. Now the grown-ups know, which should just about put "Done" to that deal. They had a sweet gig going and could have probably kept on playing around with the kids until they started collecting S.S. but they just couldn't keep their lil ol' Egos outta the way.

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MONDAY-Early-Why (?)

2004-02-02T05:44:00.000-08:00

When I wrote that little hit in the description on the right about Deaniacs pre-dialing 911 I wasn't aware that you are not really considered a True Deaniac in some circles until you have pre-programmed 911 into the speed dial on your cell phone. I think it might have been Winston Churchill who said something like "There are a lot of lies out there, and at least half of them are true."

Since I've taken some hits from folks who claim to be normal and feel I am unreasonable in the way I "pick on" Liberals I have designed the disclaimer below.

FUDGE REPORT Reveals FRAUDULANT GREENS

2004-01-31T08:42:00.000-08:00

A recent FIFES internal memo leaked on the FUDGE REPORT
by a reporter from The Legible Dispute, Elvira Hooligan-Ragostinini claims that The Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies has been conducting a clandestine study on Fraudulant “Green” claims by business and industry.
(Breaking--Details to follow).

ARE SCHOOLS MAKING KIDS DUMB?

2004-01-30T12:50:00.000-08:00

New Study Proves Schools Make Kids Dumb
by Ms Alexis Manville-Davis PhD.

The fact that our children are consistently testing below grade level is now beyond dispute. However, there seems to be plenty of room for discussion as to causes. One of the more interesting theories to emerge comes from a recent study by the prestigious FOOTHILLS INSTITUTE FOR ESOTERIC STUDIES of Omo Ranch, CA. It claims that the blame lies with the schools.

In one of the most comprehensive and longest running studies ever undertaken by FIFES, evidence is stacking up that indicates that it is actually schools in general and teachers, specifically, that make kids dumb.

According to Elmer Thudpucker of FIFES, “The parents all claim that these kids are not dumb when they first send them to those schools. It is only after they have been there for a year or two that they begin to test out as dumb. Kids aren’t dumb at home. Kindergartners and pre-schoolers don’t test dumb. No. That doesn’t happen, usually until about the fourth grade. Also, Home Schooled children never seem to test dumb. It is only kids who have been placed in schools with state certified teachers that consistently test out as dumb. There simply has to be a connection.”

The goes into the face of Conventional Wisdom which places the responsibility on the parents.

The most popular speculation by the Educational Establishment is that parents are sending kids to school unprepared to test well. A spokesperson for the California Confederation of Really Concerned Teachers said recently at a press conference: “What we really need is early government intervention. We aren’t getting these kids until they are four or five years old and by that time most of the damage has already been done.
The primary problem is that there is simply no standardization in the homes of these children. I was shocked to find out that some of their fathers actually cut down trees for a living. Meat is frequently eaten in many of these homes. Would you believe that there are so-called parents out there who are telling their children that Global Warming is a Hoax. Why we have some unconfirmed reports that certain parents are teaching Creationism at home. Imagine that! In this day and age. How can a child that is subjected to that sort of thing in the home environment be expected to perform well when they get into the more realistic setting provided by the school? It simply has to be the fault of the parents. They are the only ones in this equation who are not state-certified professionals. I know that you will find this hard to believe but our studies have proven beyond doubt that these young future voters are often being raised by parents with absolutely no professional training in child rearing. How could anyone expect us to teach to a test with students like that? That’s just one more reason why I’m voting for Howard Dean. Wait, scratch that. I got my notes mixed up. That is for the next press conference.”

Not true, say parents, according to the FIFES study. The parents who took part in the interviews and questionnaires claim that their kids were fine until they started going to school.

The following are excerpts from two of the many recorded interviews conducted for this study:

“Every one of my kids could read ritin’ time I sent ‘em to school. That red-headed one over there in the corner even claims to be able to rite readin’ but I couldn’t swear to that for a fact ‘cause he claims he’s writin’ in Swahilli or somethin’ that he learned watching Sesamee Street and I cain’t read nothin’ but American. He can understand American though, if you want to talk to him. Hey Patty-Mae, what’d we end up callin’ that red-headed kid? I keep forgettin’ and this guy wants to talk to him.”
--Male Parent E-273

“I pulled my kids outta that damn school two years ago. That red-headed principal kept sending home notes saying my middle kid was dumb in math. Said he couldn’t do grade level stuff. That kid had been running the cash box at the Roadside Stand since he was 3 years hold. He could make change in his head faster most could with a calculator. Sound dumb to you? We got him teaching the rest of the kids in the neighborhood when it comes to numbers.”
--Male Parent F-113

The Really Concerned Teachers discount the FIFES study as purely anecdotal. Said the spokesteacher, “How can those parents know as much about those kids as we do? We have them every day and with this new “austerity” budget I actually relieve my teaching assistant and have face-to-face time with my class for thirty minutes every other afternoon, so it is only reasonable that we know more about these kids and their education than their parents do.”

Ms Alexis Manville-Davis PhD. intends to be a teacher when she grows up.

Download the entire 660 KB PDF file of the publication in which this article appeared.

ECO-IMPERIALISM Kills Poor People

2004-01-30T06:07:00.000-08:00

I just finished reading an Interview in FRONT PAGE MAGAZINE with Paul K. Driessen who has written a book entitled Eco-Imperialism: Green Power. Black Death. (Buy Book) I haven’t yet read the book but I will soonest and will report. I’ve been raging about the Eco-Freaks for years and no one seems to want to listen.

You can find out more about Driessen here.

For some reason it got me to thinking about that ding-bat down the hill in Elk Grove (I live in the Sierra Foothills East of Sacramento, CA) who is milking his fifteen minutes of fame by trying to get the Supreme Court to alter the Pledge of Allegiance by taking out the words “under God” which offends him. He is doing so in the name of his daughter, a professed Christian. But what are kids for, if not the self-aggrandizement of their putative parents? Perhaps the young lady should be asking for a DNA test.

Actually, if he is successful, we should follow suit and get all reference to the entire Ecology Movement removed from our schools since it so obviously has become a Religeon.

SPORTS Update

2004-01-29T10:28:00.000-08:00

Metropolis of Amarado Tournament of Champions

In the final game of the grand Metropolis of Amarado Tournament of Champions on New Year’s Eve the score was: Skins 0, Shirts 0. Since this was a Liberal Event, no score was kept, no one player was allowed to score more than any other player, fouling was not allowed and losing was abolished so nobody won.

They will have their next tournament on Valentine’s Day if they can find the basketball which seems to have disappeared during the second quarter though no one noticed at the time. It was not until after the game had been officially declared over that the manager noticed the ball was missing as he was gathering up the game gear.

SPORTS Update

2004-01-29T10:25:00.000-08:00

The Al Gore Memorial Global Warming Golf Tournament has been snowed out.

ROUTINES

2004-01-29T08:31:00.000-08:00

I was noodling around for a poem to post up to celebrate becoming old enough to draw S.S. as of today and ran across ROUTINES which I recalled is up on my website and available for free download.

This long poem is in the form of a special type of e-book that requires no additional software to read. It took me about two minutes to download the file when I just now tried it to make sure everything was still working. A couple of the links in the book-its-own-self are out-dated and don't work but the book reads fine. Simply download the file and click it open and start turning pages to read it. This will not work on a MAC.

It's a pretty good "old man remembering" type of poem and won't take long to read.

The e-book version is free. If you want a hard copy version go here.

Mt Aukum Press

WHERE HAVE ALL THE HATE CRIMES GONE?

2004-01-29T08:03:00.000-08:00

Remember when the Liberals were still in power and they were trying to make sure that no one could ever talk bad ABOUT or TO them?

I'm talking about all that HATE CRIME legislation they rammed through awhile back where they decided to protect themselves and their "victim of the week" from anyone calling them names. Seems like that every little identity group needed protection. Seemed the onliest ones they left out were Left Handed Norwegion Monkey Fluckers and Conservatives. Just stop and think what the current political landscape would look like if Hate Crime Laws covered Conservatives among the protected.

ANN COULTER DAY

2004-01-29T06:32:00.000-08:00

"Kerry is like some character in a Balzac novel,
an adventurer twirling the end of his mustache
and preying on rich women.
This low-born poseur with his threadbare pseudo-Brahmin family
bought a political career with one rich woman's money,
dumped her, and made off with another heiress
to enable him to run for president.
If Democrats want to talk about middle-class tax cuts,
couldn't they nominate someone
who hasn't been a poodle to rich women for the past 33 years?"
--Ann Colter

Thursday mornings are always fun because Ann Coulter posts her new weekly column on Thursday. Always good for a laff at the expense of puffed up Liberals, she does what the anti-war poets claimed to do a year ago when they were demon-strafing against the war: "Speaking the truth to Power." She does it and she always packs along her sense of humor.

In her honor I offer up my own addition to the "Liberal Lexicon" to foster understanding.

Bi-Partisan means that Nanci Pelosi and Tom Daschle agree on something

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KERRY THE CANDIDATE?

2004-01-28T07:20:00.000-08:00

Looks like the Democrats are going to get the candidate they deserve.
I've long held the thought that there is nothing more dog-dirt-dumb than a Democrat. Kerry as "War Hero" candidate will prove the case.

His record is there, but they won't look or won't believe. This is where irrational hatred takes you: irrationality.

For a detailed look at Kerry's record in this area look at
Cash-and-Kerry, Part Two
By Lowell Ponte
FrontPageMagazine.com | January 28, 2004

Spam What Am!

2004-01-28T07:15:00.000-08:00

Latest pick-up line for a Dean Wienie:

"I've been reading my e-mail
and you know what?
That stuff really works!

Want to see it?"

If you like what you see, then feel free to help things along.
Anyone donating $20.00 more and including a mailing address will receive an autographed copy of my book, the original VIEW FROM MT AUKUM. It is a 108 page paperback collection of essays, stories and editorials, originally published by Cold River Press in 1993. Far as I know, this is the only place you can now get a copy. Limited to first 25.

TAX THE RICH

2004-01-27T07:09:00.000-08:00

One thing I've never been able to understand about Liberal Politicians is that on the one hand they have this crying need to tax the wealthy but on the other hand they go out of their way to place obstacles in the way of wealth creation.

I can understand their need to Tax The Rich. It is the same reason that bank robbers seek out banks: it is where the money is. However, since they have a demonstrable need for wealthy people to tax to support their various programs, then why are they so intent keeping folks from acquiring that wealth in the first place? I am referring to the endless government red-tape and environmental regulations with no foundation in science or reality to name just a couple of areas where they constantly make it difficult for those who would create wealth.

A really interesting take on this from an international point of view can be found today in the Weekly Standard.

GREEN POETRY

2004-01-27T06:42:00.000-08:00

PRESS RELEASE—For Immediate Release
from THE FOOTHILLS INSTITUTE FOR ESOTERIC STUDIES
Wredde Knecke, CA

Poetry Publisher Goes Green!

Elmer Thudpucker, who holds the Poetry/Politics/Environment Chair at the Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies in Wredde Knecke, CA, today announced that the world renowned think tank is going “Green” with a new “poetry” publication. Get It All Right Here will be quarterly and sold by subscription only at the rate of $50.00 per year for individuals and $350 per year for Institutions, government agencies and University Libraries.

“Tens of thousands of trees are being slaughtered needlessly each year. This simply cannot continue. As everyone knows we are quickly running out of trees and this type of criminal behavior must cease immediately. A recent study which our staff conducted found that hardly anyone is reading the thousands of books of poetry being published each year that are written by certified poets who work at various odd jobs within our University system. Since no one is reading them we really cannot justify all those dead trees. However since these people cannot be fired and they must publish or perish, what the FIFES intends to do is to consolidate all those various endeavors. Rather than publish tens of thousands of different poems the new publication will simply publish the biographies and the bibliographies of the various poets.”

When asked how adding one more publication to the number already being published would save any trees Professor Thudpucker replied: “Our research showed us something amazing. No one was actually buying and reading all those books and magazines that published the poetry. What they were actually reading was reviews of the books and magazines. That way folks could sound like they had read the work by quoting from the reviews and wouldn’t actually have to read the books themselves. What put us onto the idea for our new publication was the fact that reviewers so often complained when a book of poetry was published without a biography of the poet. This caught our eye and we started paying very close attention. We found that it appeared that books with excellent biographies got excellent reviews and books with no biographies got less flattering reviews. We actually found a case where a reviewer quoted a section from the promotional material on the back of the book along with a section from the book its-own-self as though they were one and the same. From there it was an easy jump to come up with the idea of just publishing the biographies/bibliographies. That way the critics can read the bios and write their reviews and the readers can read those reviews just like they always have and we won’t have to kill a bunch of trees because nobody will have to actually read any of the poems which they apparently have not been reading anyhow. It’s a win-win-win-win situation. It’s a win for the poets who will no longer have to embarrass themselves by putting bad poetry writing into print in order to maintain employment; it’s a win for the critics who can still write their reviews but won’t have to read all that poetry; it’s a win for the readers since they can simply buy one publication where the information will appear rather than look all over Hell and half of Georgia for reviews that they can quote at the next literary party; and, more important, it’s a win for mother earth and her wonderful trees which will no longer be sacrificed.”

For further information contact: Elmer Thudpucker ElmerRU12?@mtaukumpres.com

Monday Morning Moving Sideways

2004-01-26T07:04:00.000-08:00

So what’s this about Poetry&Politics.

Most folks hardly can imagine a connection. I see it differently, perhaps because I am a poet who has written extensively about politics for years. You will find poems throughout this blog and connections to more.

Below is a small example of political writing taken from an article in the Jackson, CA newspaper, The Ledger-Dispatch.

". . .In a free society it should not matter what religion, if any, a person chooses to believe in and follow. Folks are also free to proselytize and convince others if they can. However, they should not be allowed to impose their beliefs upon others. When that happens you no longer have a free society. This is precisely where I part company with the environmentalists. By their actions they demonstrate their belief in a Fascist system which grants them the right, through force of law, to impose their beliefs on the rest of us. Their claims to such extra-legal rights are based on facts not in evidence and should be denied forthwith. . . . "

Read the entire piece here.

Up until now I’ve always made the effort to keep a wall between the two but the time for that for me is past.

KEEP BEN GOING

2004-01-25T09:01:00.000-08:00

If you like what you see, then feel free to help things along.
Anyone donating $20.00 more and including a mailing address will receive an autographed copy of my book, the original VIEW FROM MT AUKUM. It is a 108 page paperback collection of essays, stories and editorials, originally published by Cold River Press in 1993. Far as I know, this is the only place you can now get a copy. Limited to first 25.

The Money On The Bar

2004-01-24T16:51:00.000-08:00

Stays
On the bar

Though a few
Have nothing but
Empty pockets
To back it up

You buy a beer
And you offer
A bill in payment
And you leave
The change
As you drink.
Because that’s how it’s done

When you need another
You nod to the bartender
And the transaction takes place
The bartender is the only one counting

There’s one old man
With a chewed up ear
Who screws up his face
And howls just like
A coyote
You can’t tell the difference
And he stays in practice
Because he does it every day

Another can sing a couple of verses
Of “Your Cheatin’ Heart”
And you’d swear
Hank Williams was here
Because every time it happens
You feel the chills
March up your spine

The money on the bar
Moves
In one direction
& it does not return
But the return is there
Because who does not live
To hear an old man
Become the Trickster
To call down the moon

Or wait for that quick
Flitting vision
When the singer’s voice
Floats the face
Of an old Love
Across those
Battered boards

Later we’ll return
To the rest of our life
But there was a moment
Or two
When we each remembered
A thing we couldn’t name
But can’t seem to live without.

--Ben L. Hiatt 1-13-2003

Cute, Huh?

2004-01-22T16:30:00.000-08:00

One of the funniest sites going is
Strange Cosmos
If you are warped, it's the place to be.
If you are real nice they will send you something strange to start each day.
The doctored photo below is an example.

Strange Cosmos

2004-01-22T08:04:00.000-08:00

The System Is Working

As we work our way through the insanity of the presidential primary I am impressed with the fact that the system appears to be working. Howard Dean is arguable toast, and justly so in my mind. After his wig-out at the end in Iowa he follows up the very next day by having a quiet member of his audience dragged out by security because the man was holding a Confederate flag. I read it on The Weekly Standard just now. How you think that will play in a couple of weeks down South? Does this mean he has given up on being the candidate for those good ol' boys in their pick-up trucks?

George Soros must now know he can't just buy a presidency. The voters get the final say as they always do, and don't the Democrats just hate that. . . . . . .

2004-01-22T07:22:00.000-08:00

My Hero------>Ann Coulter------->knocks it outta the ball park today.

SOLAR POWERED ABORTIONS & OTHER GIGGLES

2004-01-22T06:50:00.000-08:00

IF THIS IS THURSDAY
THIS MUST BE MT AUKUM

If you are interested in Poetry and/or Political satire (& why else would you be here?) then you might want to take the time to download my latest publication. It is in the form of a PDF file and can be found here:
http://mtaukumpress.com/news/imaginate1.PDF
This file goes over 600 KB so you will need patience. What you will end up with is the publication as I designed it in PageMaker, fully printable as designed.
This first issue of IMAGINATE is a parody of a local Jackson, CA newspaper. My next issue will probably be a parody of my own old publication THE MOUNTAIN TRADER. Watch here for news when and if . . . . .

2004-01-21T16:20:00.000-08:00

Buy Ben's Books

This will open up The Mt Aukum Press Bookstore.

Buy Ben's Books

2004-01-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

DEMOCRATS' CHARLIE BROWN

Thanks to Iowa's cock-eyed political set-up the Democrats now have their very own, real life, Charlie Brown (AKA: Howard Dean).

The Iowa Democrats played the part of Lucie to perfection, yanking the football away at the very last minute.

Dean has always reminded me of Charlie Brown. Same sort of little, round guy with a big round head. But the rage never fit the Charlie Brown image until I realized that this is what Charlie Brown would look like if he showed up at a public school these days. He would be immediately identified as an ADD sufferer and be loaded up with Ritolin.

So there you have it: Charlie Brown on speed, now tearing off to New Hampshire where Lucie already has the football tee-ed up and waiting.

"Why is everybody
Always pickin' on me?"

I Heard Coyote Talking

2004-01-17T06:15:00.000-08:00

Heard a coyote talking

I heard a quavering coyote voice
this morning in the dark.

Quiet. Far down the ridge.
Did not even wake
The town dogs up.

No full blown yodel, this.

Just a quiet one-way
conversation with the sky.

I would not have noticed
had I not been
sipping 5 a.m. coffee
in the outside dark.

No lustful bragging
in his voice.
No challenging the dogs to race
across the draw
and down along the south fork
canyon walls.

I seemed to hear
acknowledgement
that his work was done
for another night
as he centered himself
to await
what the day
and light would bring.

Later, while I rinsed the empty cup
I heard, again, inside my head
that quiet, haunting call
and these words came
to bridge his workday world
to mine.

Ben L. Hiatt
August 2003

Go here for more poems.

2004-01-13T10:08:00.000-08:00

DEAN THEORY

"The most interesting theory
that I've heard so far-
which is nothing more than a theory,
it can't be proved-
is that he was warned ahead of time by the Saudis.…
Now, who knows what the real situation is?"
--Howard Dean talking about the President on National Television

There are several theories out there that try and explain some of the whacko things that Democratic Presidential Candidate Howard Dean has said over the past few weeks. They all revolve around the alleged theory of Dean's use of body doubles due to his alleged Assassination Phobia. The most interesting theory that I've heard so far-which is nothing more than a theory, it can't be proved-is that he was not warned ahead of time about how much work a Presidential campaign could be.…and is now allegedly suffering from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. In his last alleged public utterance before his handlers replaced him with theoretical body doubles he was alleged to mumble, "These guys expect me to work SEVEN DAYS A WEEK. I was just looking for something to do, I wasn't looking for no damn job."

Now, who knows what the real situation is?

There are actually two schools of unprovable theories concerning his alleged use of body doubles. The one allegedly favored by the New York Times is that Karl Rove so fears Dean's candidacy that he has allegedly put out a contract on him as the only way to keep him from steam rolling Bush this fall. According to this most interesting theory, which cannot be proved, the Times is sitting on the story and will go with it when it will cause the most damage to the President's alleged re-election possibilities. This is nothing more than a theory, you understand, and it can't be proved but who knows what the real story is?

The second interesting, unprovable theory is that his alleged Chronic Fatigue makes it impossible for him to travel or speak in public and he now fears that Soros has put out a contract on him. This is the alleged theory allegedly favored by the Washington Times which will run with the story as soon as they can source it.

There is a third alleged theory which is so strange that we hesitate to mention it but since it is making the rounds on the Internet it needs to be at least acknowledged. According to this unprovable, alleged theory MoveOn.Com carries a subliminal message about Howard Dean. The message changes depending on who interprets it but the essence appears to be that the alleged message is allegedly from Bill Clinton and is suggesting that all campaign workers arm themselves immediately for their own protection because Howard Dean is such an allegedly deranged man. All theory, of course, and no way to prove it but it sure is interesting.

Our own theory is that Howard Dean never once had explained to him that a grown man should engage his brain before he puts his mouth in gear and due to the inadequacy of his family background, temperment and education he has difficulty doing so a great deal of the time. This "body double" theorizing is just the Dean campaign's way of misdirecting journalistic queries away from the damn fool things theman says. But that is just a theory.

Check out my new publication at:
http://mtaukumpress.com/news/imaginate1.PDF
600+ kb PDF file.

2003-12-24T11:36:00.000-08:00

PRESS RELEASE
For Immediate Release
Contact: Elmer Thudpucker, Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies, Wredde Knecke, CA

(Mt. Aukum, CA-December 19, 2003)

Local house husband and amateur photographer Ben L. Hiatt was on his way home from a grocery shopping trip when he stopped alongside the road to photograph some longhorn cattle. Said Hiatt, “I had a new camera that is a combination binoculars and digital camera that I hadn’t used yet that I wanted to try out and I knew these longhorns were really cute so I stopped and snapped a few quick shots. Mostly I was just trying to figure out this new camera. I took fifteen or twenty snapshots and I found that several of them didn’t even have any cows in them because I wasn’t doing it right. Guess I wasn’t up to speed on this new camera yet. But I decided to go on home and download everything to the computer and sort things out. That was when I found I had captured what appears to be a mythical beast, the UniCow. Sure makes me wish I’d of had it on the video setting.”

Realizing he might be onto something highly unusual and feeling the need for some expert marketing advice, Hiatt contacted the world renowned Elmer Thudpucker of the prestigious Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies. Thudpucker is an expert on almost everything and was happy to be of assistance. When he saw the photo in question (see below) he immediately appointed himself to the position of Chairman of FIFES Photographic Investigations, UniCow Division, at a salary to be decided later based on the final assessed value in American Dollars of the original photograph and launched the investigation.

It took Thudpucker less than ten minutes to ascertain the authenticity of the image. “This is quite obviously an authentic digital photograph, unaltered in any way what-so-ever. What you see was actually there. This is not just a photograph of some cow alongside the road that has been doctored up on a computer as some ill-trained folk have suggested. It is a seamless whole when examined on a pictal level. As to those who have suggested that a photo of the horn of a real unicorn was simply pasted onto the photo of an ordinary cow I must point out how hopelessly un-informed these would-be critics are. A real Unicorn horn always grows in a very tight spiral and this horn does not. Therefore it cannot possibly be the horn of a real unicorn. To those who have wondered why no one else noticed this UniCow even though hundreds of people drive by this group of cattle every day I can only indicate the very clever protective coloring on this specimen. Most folks simply would not be able to see it. The photographer his-own-self did not see the UniCow when he snapped the photograph and it took the lens of the digital camera to see through the protective coloring and capture the image.”

When contacted later and asked for comment Hiatt said, “Boy, that guy Thudwhacker sure is smart. I wondered why I couldn’t see that darn thing when I was taking pictures. That part about the ‘protected coloration’ sure explains that.”
(This is a Developing Story)

PRESS RELEASE
For Immediate Release
Contact: Elmer Thudpucker, Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies, Wredde Knecke, CA

(Mt. Aukum, CA-December 20, 2003)

Professor Elmer Thudpucker, Chairman of Digital Photographic Investigations, UniCow Division, of the world-renowned think tank, FIFES (Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies), announced today he has completely unraveled the mystery of the UniCow and contrary to previously published statements it has nothing to do with protective coloring.

Said Professor Thudpucker, “As with many of our major scientific breakthroughs, this is not a breakthrough at all but simply a matter of the proper intellect coming along who is able to understand an on-going natural phenomenon. The UniCow has been among us all along. We just have not been equipped to see it. The problem is that the Unicow’s cellular structure resonates at a different frequency than what we are used to seeing. It took the invention of the digital camera in order to capture this first decipherable image of the UniCow. I was obviously misquoted when I said that the UniCow’s protective coloring kept it from being observed with the naked human eye. This is frequently a problem when uninformed reporters attempt to write stories about technical subjects that they do not fully understand.”

Professor Thudpucker went on to explain, “In layman’s terms it simply means that digital photography works differently than regular photography. You see, regular photography works with light and digital photography works with pictals. Pictals, in their natural state, are invisible to the human eye. They must be translated via a silicon chip and frozen in time in order to become visible to the untrained human eye. Thus when Hiatt inadvertently took a picture of something that was not there he simply, very much by accident you understand since he obviously could never have figured this out by himself, used a new tool in a new way to reveal something that had actually been there all along but could not be observed with the naked eye. Many scientific breakthroughs have resulted from just such serendipitous occurrences. Now that we know the UniCow is there and his image can be captured on a digital camera I suspect that we will be seeing a lot more photographic evidence, digital and pictal, of course. I speculate that there just might be an entire herd of UniCows in that field and now we will very likely be able to produce evidence of that. It is quite possible that those blessed things are everywhere just waiting for someone to come along and take a picture of something that isn’t there so that we can see it.”

(Ongoing)

PRESS RELEASE
For Immediate Release
Contact: Elmer Thudpucker, Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies, Wredde Knecke, CA

(Mt. Aukum, CA-December 21, 2003)

Elmer Thudpucker of the prestigious Foothills Institute For Esoteric Studies (FIFES) has denied all responsibility for the massive traffic jam on Shenendoah Highway in Amador County which forced the highway patrol to close the road to all but local traffic. According to professor Thudpucker, “It wasn’t my fault those folks all showed up with their digital cameras to try and catch an image of the UniCow. I feared something like this would happen. That is precisely why I did not disclose the exact location of the original UniCow.”

(On Going – Breaking Story)
Open Press Release-Feel Free To Forward

(These stories are updated and/or rewritten as facts and opinions change or as other conditions warrant.)

2003-01-09T10:22:00.000-08:00

THE PRESIDENT GAVE A SPEECH

I had occasion to visit my local Moose Lodge one afternoon recently.
We live in a rural area and our Lodge sits high in a swale between two oak covered ridges, across the road from a vineyard. The view is awesome and you need binoculars to see most of the neighbors.

Because of a silly Law imposed by Liberals in Sacramento the hospitality area of the Lodge has become segregated. Since smokers are no longer allowed to smoke in the bar area they have been pushed outside. After a year or so of standing around in all kinds of weather on an outdoor patio, the guys got together one weekend and walled in the area. The put in a wood stove, a t.v. set, a few picnic tables and now they can drink and smoke protected from the elements. It’s probably illegal but they have come up with a workable compromise in dealing with one of the dumbest laws ever passed. During the hour and a half that I visited there the bartender stepped from behind the bar three times and came outside to have a cigarette, which I’m sure would have surprised the Do-Gooders in Sacramento who supposedly imposed this Draconian law to protect the hired help from the evils of second hand smoke.

A curious thing has happened. We now have a Lodge where the men congregate outside in the smoker’s area and the women sit at the bar. Occasionally one of the women will come outside long enough to smoke a cigarette but they quickly return. This particular afternoon the men had the t.v. on as they had watched the President give his speech on cutting taxes. Time I got there what they were seeing was an endless stream of Liberal media talking heads and Democrat Presidential Wannabees who were criticizing what the President had said.

As you might expect on a workday afternoon this crowd is long in the tooth. I’m considered a youngster at 60. Everyone of these guys was a veteran of either WWII or Korea. They sat and they watched the television spit out the Liberal dogma without saying too much. When it started winding down one of them got up and turned off the t.v. set and turned to face the rest of us. He seemed really sad when he said, “That’s my President those guys are talking about. I think maybe somebody ought to check their citizenship papers and see what country they’re from.” It really doesn’t matter which one of them made that statement because it was pretty much what we were all thinking.

All across America that day ordinary American citizens watched their president and recognized in him an honorable man who has their best interests and the best interests of the country in mind. They know and understand this intuitively. They have lived long and worked hard and when they were called to defend their country they went in droves and they went willingly. It takes a pretty good bullshitter to put one over on them and when it happens there is a slow burning and righteous anger that follows just as surely as the sunshine follows a storm.

They are old now and their bodies are letting them down. But one should never make the mistake of assuming that since their bodies are becoming feeble, they are becoming feeble-minded. These old men have minds like steel traps and they have long memories. For fifty years the Liberals have lied to them. The culmination of those lies came in the form of a morally challenged sexual deviant who claimed to be “their” president and said he felt “their” pain. Bill Clinton shamed them. They will not easily forget or forgive.

This is what the Liberals are up against. They have made themselves irrelevant. They have managed to put themselves in the position where what is good for the country is bad for Liberals. All across America it has finally dawned on folks like my companions that afternoon that when the Liberals condemn our president, they are condemning us.

They understand that the Liberals will do everything within their power to make sure that nothing good happens to this country, because if it did, then the president might get the credit.

Ben Hiatt's Personal Web Site

Buy Ben Hiatt's Books

2003-01-08T13:27:00.000-08:00

Ben Hiatt's Personal Web Site

2002-12-11T18:18:00.000-08:00

"APRIL IS THE CRUELEST MONTH"

FOUR POEMS

Today
I tend the oak fire
while it snows

my bride
of 35 years
drives down the mountain
to view a flower show
with friends

half a world away
there are the bombs

the small brave
flowers
beside the house
shake
in more than
just this
mountain wind

spring is late
this year
I fear
what it will bear
on its broad haunches

I put new line
on my ultra-lite
stack another
arm load of oak
near the woodstove
hunker down
against the unseasonable
cold

spring is late
& the beast roars
again

Damn him
& his angry voice

loose in the world
again

--Ben L. Hiatt

WHERE THE WOOD COMES FROM

I tend the oak fire
rake the ashes
into a tin bucket

this is white oak

late in the season
the best wood
is gone

white oak burns fine
but leaves
almost as much
ash behind
as what you start with

last fall Randy
dropped it off
came early one morning
gifted me with
a pickup load of wood

his right arm hanging straight
from shoulder surgery
needing the movement
needing to work
beer on his
morning breath

my first day
of sobriety
& it gave me
something to do
to get through
a day I knew
would be shakey

I fired up
the splitter
after he left

two days later
the wood was split
& stacked

I was still shakey
but two days sober

now
it has been 7 months
& counting

one day at a time
I don't do meetings
& I spread the ashes
on my winter fallow
garden
in a year
when spring is just
a promise
whispered
on a cold wind

4-3-99
================================
EASTER MORNING 1999
(for Mish)

Rake the ashes
while dancing
on the graves
of flowers

but that's
a slow dance
long
like the seasons
of our change

measure the angle--
--oak limb
against the sky

that growth
too slow
for the quickened
eye

you have taken
the blessing
of words

turned it
warmly
& returned it
with love

know this:
you have been
heard

=====================================

WHILE DANCING

While dancing
through the shadows
of that other
love

I missed a step
& stopped

to listen

but the words
were only
echoes

slow breathing
from
behind the mask

I set the clock ahead
smile
& gently
take the hands
of shadows

as I prepare
to dance

the fear away

=========================================

2002-11-06T11:27:00.000-08:00

TAKING A STAND
By Ben L. Hiatt

I was thinking about things the other day and it occurred to me that in this political season, it was time to take a stand on something and make a statement.

I’m known as something of a poet so bumper stickers appeal to me. I decided I needed my own bumper sticker. I fired up my home computer and in a short time I had something that seemed topical. It read in part, “SAVE THE EARTH.” I liked it so much I immediately printed up a few on some bumper sticker material I had bought on sale a year or so ago and slapped one on my ’86 Jeep Eagle.

My next door neighbor noticed what I was doing and asked, “Where’d you get that thing?” I told her I had just made it and she wanted to know could she have one. Being basically a pretty generous soul I told her, “Sure!” and gave her a couple of them. She immediately put one on the rear window of her purple mini-van and said she was going to give the other one to her husband for his pickup truck.

Even though I thought it was a really pretty bumper sticker I kind of wondered whether or not anyone would notice. Boy was I surprised. Out on the road folks immediately noticed. All of a sudden I was getting waves and hand signals from all sorts of drivers who’d previously ignored me. They’d wave their hands at me in the grocery store parking lot. Sometimes when they were following me they’d honk and blink their lights and wave their hands at me. On the streets of Plymouth, Ione and Jackson they’d acknowledge me as I went about my business.

Some would simply give me a thumbs-up signal. Others were a little harder to figure out but I studied on it and decided these were folks who didn’t really understand the old tried and true road signals that country folk use so they were improvising. I deducted that they were trying to tell me that I had a “number one idea” going with the bumper sticker. When I explained all this to my wife one evening at dinner she gave me one of those looks that all men who have been married to the same woman for 40 years know and ignore at their peril.

Now maybe I should explain here that I tend to be a really cautious driver and when folks wave at me I usually just give them a quick glance and wave back as my eyes immediately return to the road. Perhaps because of that tendency I seem to have been misinterpreting a lot of the hand gestures that my bumper sticker was generating. This was brought home to me last Sunday evening when I was sitting at the stop sign at Main Street and Highway 49 in Plymouth waiting for the traffic on 49 to clear so I could head up the Shenandoah Highway. My wife was riding shotgun and she asked me, “Is that what you meant when you told me folks thought your bumper sticker was a ‘number one’ idea?” I glanced over and noticed half a dozen dudes dressed in spandex beside spiffy chrome bicycles. Each was holding a single digit skyward and yelling things in my direction which led me to believe that they did not think my bumper sticker was a “number one idea.”

The entire bumper sticker reads: SAVE THE EARTH From Environmentalists.

(This was published on the editorial page of the Ledger-Dispatch newspaper in Jackson, CA on 11-6-02)

2002-10-23T13:37:00.000-07:00

Question The Dominant Paradigm
De-Constructing The Bumper Sticker

I can't recall ever hearing that word "paradigm" used in conversation so I'm not sure that it has any real world applications. Since I read a lot, I have run into it a good bit over the years and you used to see that phrase about questioning it on bumper stickers quite a bit back in the 80's.
I think the reason I've never heard it in conversation is because when folks I hang out with bother to talk to each other it is because they are trying to communicate and this word just isn't designed to do that sort of thing.

It is a word designed to keep real communication from happening. Some folks will use it when they want to refute an argument but can't do that with facts. So they'll just throw out a whole passle of big, important sounding words hoping that the opponent won't understand and will just give up and shut up. It sometimes works. But sometimes the other guy on hearing this verbal pollution shuts up because he is laughing so hard he can't talk. People who use a word like "paradigm" can seldom tell the difference so they just automatically assume they've won the argument and move on to their next intended victim.

Recently just a bit North of where I live the boss of the regional Forest Service took a gaggle of folks on a guided tour to give them some first hand looks at what the new version of forest management would be. He took this bunch of journalists and self-appointed environmentalists on a walking tour. I read a pretty decent piece on the event, complete with photos and a quote or two from the Forest Service guy and the environmental advocates. One environmentarian, who was identified as the head of the local offshoot of a big really important organization was quoted and he was a bit miffed. He ended his criticism by saying, "They have followed an incorrect paradigm." Sounded to me like he'd had a little too much nature for one afternoon and felt a pressing need to get back to his hot tub, contact the lawyers and get on back to the important work of saving the environment

I just assumed that foxy ol' forest ranger had led those folks through the manzanita and poison oak to show them first hand some of the wonderful living things which they did not want touched. Floundering around in poison oak in Sierra Club walking shorts for an hour or two just might lead you to appreciate a little brush thinning.

You used to see the phrase, "Ignore The Dominant Paradigm" quite a bit on bumper stickers back in the 80's. You'd see this spiffy new Japanese made pickup going down the road with a surfboard and a canoe on top and a chrome mountain bike hanging on the back. It would be roaring along with some frizzy longhair at the wheel and it would bear enough bumper stickers to pay for a printing press though most would be so goddamn dumb you'd wonder why anyone would display such intellectual limitations to the general public. You'd most often see them heading for the redwoods, cruising down around Santa Cruz or in a rush to get to some other spot where half the folks in creation gathered to play in the surf and hug trees and bitch about the crowded conditions. Right in the middle of the tailgate would be a big bumper sticker reading "I'M FOR THE FUTURE". There would always be one or two with artistic hearts in the middle as though the designer didn't know how to spell a big word like love. Although you would never see one that told you to Buy American, it appeared mandatory to have one on there about saving the whales and somewhere in this mess you always run across the one with advice about what to do if you happened to run into the dominant paradigm. Sometimes they'd tell you to simply ignore it, which was probably best for those who had no idea how to catch one anyhow. Others would sternly advise you to challenge it.

We used to call those folks "Green Weenies" until we got to know them better and they showed us their real names. They weren't really weenies but were actually watermelons. In the bumper sticker language such folks often seem limited to this simply meant "Green on the outside but Red on the inside." This referred to their favorite method of solving everyone's problems whether they had any or not. Most of them wouldn't know an economic theory if one ran them off the road but they do admire the communist way of getting things done. They seem enamored of the elitist, top down method of governing.

They are elitists themselves because they have decided, based on facts not in evidence, that only they know what is best for the rest of us and they appear to admire the fascist approach to accomplishing their aims. In their vision of the future, since they know what is best, it is their right to simply impose their goofball ideas on the rest of us.

You don't run across those paradigm bumper stickers much anymore simply because those radical fascists have come to represent the dominant paradigm and they sure as hell don't intend to allow anyone else to question or challenge it if they can help it and they are so self-centered that they can't stand the thought of being ignored.

Their vision of the future is one where loggers do not exist. They have all been retrained at government expense to work in the eco-tourism industry. When you deconstruct that you find that they expect loggers and mill workers to simply get out of the woods and pump their gas and otherwise wait on them when they come through what used to be mill towns on their way to commune with Nature.

There won't be any ranchers to worry about in their future because everyone will be forced to become vegetarians. Though I expect they'll keep some cattle and sheep around so the wolves they've imported will have something to eat after they've decimated the high country elk herds.
There won't be any miners because that industry was a gross polluter and they simply outlawed it. They'll just recycle our snow mobiles, rifles and SUV's for the metal needed to make their mountain bikes.

In the poker game of life, if these elite fascists think they can run things for the rest of us against our will by betting on goofy terms like paradigm then I intend to raise that two dime, twenty cent word at least a nickel and my bumper sticker will read "Give No Quarter".

.

2002-07-10T14:33:00.000-07:00

THE RAINBOW FISH
& Other Pisqatorial Tales

1/
The Rainbow Fish
sleeps
in his secret
forest

bows
to the East
& dances
on the far side
of your dreams

do not feed
the
Rainbow Fish

2/
If you find
the lair
of
the Rainbow Fish

don't linger!
do not attempt
to engage
him in conversation

make one wish
and run--
--the Rainbow Fish
is always hungry

3/
When the Rainbow Fish
forgot
how to
swim
he
was
no

small
ways from

where
he
began

his

sudden
wonderful
flight
to
the
moon

4/
The Rainbow Fish
is a remarkable frog
he sleeps in the barn
with a big spotted hog

He runs through the creek
and he runs through the trees
the Rainbow Fish
has spaghetti for knees

He's never been caught
and put in a dish
a canny old dude
is the Rainbow Fish

THE DEAF FISH
of the Sierra
swim lazily
among the cedar trees

when in repose
they seek a hidden spot
near granite

look for them in the spring
when they call quietly to one another
with their soft purple voices

THERE WERE FISH
here once
they left
their tracks

& scaled
these blue cliffs

without
ropes

THE INVISIBLE FISH
of Marysville
have forgotten
how to swim

They peer
from behind
their vanishing
beards
& spit
at the sun

THE EDUCATED FISH
There
is an educated
fish
that hides
himself
in the halls
of the school cafeteria
he speaks
in parables
& will not explain
himself
in words
of less than 5 syllables

2002-06-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

UTTER APLOMB
(for mark weber)

At daylight the dark
river leaps toward home

yesterday, the rain,
& last night
this gentle river rose
& roared

a night to think
instead of sleep

for the second season
turning
I have sat
& gazed at ancient
granite shores

carved by time
& water

here
before any bi-pedal
upright mammal
scrambled for a drink

they heard the roar
of carnivores that knew
that meat is found
near water
& is often moved by sound

late at night
the limbic brain
will soar

the strength of walls
will not erase
the atavistic memory
of being
both meat
AND
carnivore.

2002-06-24T22:08:00.000-07:00

DIALOGUE

His eyes slid across her as the darkness shifted
to the different colors that formed around the edges.

His slow thoughts moved with the muscles of her legs
as she walked from room to room in his mind.

In another time he would have spoken,
would have tried to care.

As it was he slid his eyes across her body
and watched her move among the energies
she created with her subtle movement.

"Do you never speak?" she asked.

"Sometimes."

"When?"

"When there is a reason."

"What would the reason be?"

"Reasons change."

"Oh!"

He moved his eyes through the rooms of her mind
and looked for the movement he thought he saw.

She felt his gentle, yet insistent, probing
and felt a small resentment.

It soon passed as his mind worked into the corners
of her oneness until she felt herself to be lifted.

They flew.

Soared.

Slid more quickly through through the dimensions
as the colors changed and formed a new and blinding flash.

"Why do colors change?"

"Colors always change. It is their nature."

"Is it the light, moving?"

"No. It is the colors, changing."

Suddenly it was another day.

Something was lost in the passing
of one thing into the next.

Something not missed, but missing.

The walked into the new light was uncertain.

The pain a growing thing.

"There is a hole in your pain."

"No. The pain is the hole."

The days eat themselves.

Spit us out.

Fragments of other times lie useless
in the weed encrusted garden.

The darkness bends itself around our eyes.

===============================
mailto:Ben@mtaukumpress.com

I

2002-06-24T17:05:00.000-07:00

BACK TO NATURE IN THE OL' SWEAT LODGE

This past week in our neighborhood here in the foothills a couple of folks from the flatland-back-to-Nature crowd removed themselves from the gene pool. A bunch of them had set up camp in a meadow that old time locals call the "Potato Patch", erected a totem pole and built a "sweat lodge."

Guess they were in too much a hurry to use any native materials, or perhaps they were good eco-mongers and didn't want to harm any twigs or leaves--->at any rate they covered their "sweat lodge with plastic sheeting and then placed sleeping bags over that. Inside they built themselves a fire and poured some good ol' h2o over the rocks and set back to wait for a vision.

After about 45 minutes or so one of their buddies decided to see how they were doing. They weren't. In fact they had taken themselves ALL THE WAY BACK to nature.

Kind of hard to breathe when you've blocked out all the air. Plastic is real good for that!

Local rescue personnel were quoted as saying it did not appear that drugs were involved.
Doesn't appear that any were needed.

mailto:Ben@mtaukumpress.com

2002-06-22T12:15:00.000-07:00

A MAN LIES TO HIS DOG

A man
sits
in a quiet room

He is
telling lies
to his dog

The dog
has heard them
before

He is not
a young dog

He neither barks
nor growls

Where he once
listened
with intense
concentration
he now
simply listens

Both are satisfied

The man has
his quiet room
and a listener
to lie to

The dog has a man
who quietly lies
But does not
raise his voice

Neither miss
what is not
present

It is, perhaps,
Tuesday

But neither care
about that

They have both
seen pale angels
bleeding
in the darkness

Yes,
it might be
a Tuesday
or Spring

But it does
not matter
anywhere within
this quiet circle
of lies

Later,
just as the moon
begins to rise
the man grows quiet

The dog stirs
and begins
to tell his own lies

Tomorrow
the man
will take them
and quietly
repeat them

While the angels
bleed
and the dog
appears to listen.

mailto:Ben@mtaukumpress.com

2002-06-22T11:52:00.000-07:00

The middle of a Saturday in June.
A day when a man is tempted to lie to his dog.
Or dog down next to a lie.
Random equalizers adrift in the turnip patch.
Curly hair on the cue ball.
The lip shrinks.
Nothing left to do but gargle.

The View From Mt Aukum

Storing Up The News

Poem by Susan Collins

Come Back Little Squirrel!

Name Of The Game

Speaking Fur To Power

Squirrels United Against Church And State

August in a year I missed

WISE CHILD

STANDING EASY

Time to pick up the marbles.

Back In Business

WHY READ POETRY?

Jim Chandler's New Blog

Kerry~War Hero

The MOTHER of All Conspiracy Theories

Every Body MUST Get Married

THE ECONOMY

Democrat War Hero (?)

MTV BLOWS IT

MONDAY-Early-Why (?)

FUDGE REPORT Reveals FRAUDULANT GREENS

ARE SCHOOLS MAKING KIDS DUMB?

ECO-IMPERIALISM Kills Poor People

SPORTS Update

SPORTS Update

ROUTINES

WHERE HAVE ALL THE HATE CRIMES GONE?

ANN COULTER DAY

KERRY THE CANDIDATE?

Spam What Am!

TAX THE RICH

GREEN POETRY

Monday Morning Moving Sideways

KEEP BEN GOING

The Money On The Bar

Cute, Huh?

The System Is Working

IF THIS IS THURSDAY THIS MUST BE MT AUKUM

Buy Ben's Books

DEMOCRATS' CHARLIE BROWN

I Heard Coyote Talking

Heard a coyote talking

DEAN THEORY

IF THIS IS THURSDAY
THIS MUST BE MT AUKUM